Theatre Breaks Top Ten – Irritants and How to Avoid Them
Based on the findings of a recent survey, this weeks top ten are the top ten complaints aimed at London Theatres and how to avoid them.
And it is really simple – its not even embarrasing!
So what are these complaints?
The first on the list is something the theatres have been battling with for years! Price
According to a survey published today, 55 per cent of theatre-goers considering the cost prohibitive. This lead to some interesting headlines but were they fair?
To be honest the West End is trying to do its bit. The average price for a top price ticket has only risen by 8.5% in 5 years! Well under inflation.
The average price paid to watch a West End hit show last year was less than 29p per minute – that’s cheaper than a phone call to get your computer fixed so you can go online to book your tickets!
It only gets daft if you add on ice creams, Maltesers and interval drinks and I’ve been nipping out to a nearby pub for years instead of paying the theatre bar prices (my auntie brings her G&T in to the theatre in a water bottle – slice included!)
But what if I could remove all the other complaints by getting you to ask one simple question? You don’t even have to answer it. You just ask!
Double your theatre-going pleasure at a stroke by removing 8 of the top ten complaints in one go.
In no particular order:
Leg Room in theatres
Steep Stairs in theatres
Price of Refreshments/Programmes
Queues at the theatre Bar
Queues at the Ladies’ loo
Others talking during the show
Others eating loudly
Others singing along with the show
Drinking from plastic glasses
So now what is the answer? How can I eradicate all of your theatre-going woes without planning permission? Well I can’t for everyone, but I can for you!
Theatre Breaks Top Tip
So what do you do to erradicate all almost every theatrical irritant?
It is by simply asking a question. One simple question.
Before you buy your ticket ask the theatre where to sit with the easiest access.
Do ask – don’t just assume it is on the aisle at the back of the stalls. Quite often the answer is surprising… for example, many theatres are partially underground, so “upstairs” in the dress circle or balcony may be on street level – so the best access could be at the front of the dress circle. Didn’t think of that: did you!
So how does this help? Well you are now sitting in a seat that has easy access which means an easy exit! In a trice I have solved all your problems.
A) No Steep stairs.
B) No Queues – you are first at the bar (or the pub next door if you are saving money and don’t want a plastic glass) – same for the loos.
C) If you do get to the bar quickly you don’t have to finish your drink in the auditorium so you don’t have to have a plastic glass
D) As you are probably on an aisle it means better leg room
And if you are on the aisle it cuts down by half the chances of you sitting next to someone who is a. eating, b. chatting, c. singing along and the person sitting next to you probably came with you so you only have yourself to blame!
Genius!
The only one I am stumped with is the price of programmes. You can ask an usher to see if you could just take a look. I haven’t tried it but it might work. You could ask another audience member if you could borrow theirs (or just loiter in the interval and help yourself). Of course you could go halves with someone… but my favourite is just visit the website before you go and print off a couple of pages! Bargain!
There are a few more on the list of why people don’t go to the theatre which make me chuckle: being asked to get involved in show was my favourite. I too hate this – I even get grumpy if I have to stand up just to see the end because of the gyrating nutters in front of me. But, as I said at the beginning, quite often your easy access seat is at the front of the dress circle and the only gyrating nutters in front of you are in the stalls 20 feet below.
Of course if you are on the aisle that does increase the chances of getting involved. Earlier this year there was a naked dance troupe in town… I shudder to even think about it.
Lastly, 10 per cent said they would go to the theatre if they had someone to go with. Well, hopefully, with your new found ticket buying skills, they will be more easily persuaded.